By Jennifer Nola, NSU Sports Information
From sitting in the stands hoping your "home" team wins to being the "team mom," being a coach’s wife is a multi-faceted lifestyle.
Her fundamental role is supporting her husband and his team. Particularly during the season, family life and relationships revolve around the coach's involvement with his players and staff. A happy coach is almost always a happy husband and a relaxed parent -- conversely, a rocky season or inevitable problems within the teams can distract the most caring mate or father from his more traditional roles in the family.
Coaches' wives shoulder more than their share of parental duties most of the time, along with being a sounding board and often a trusted advisor for issues regarding the team. Susan Smith, Connie McConathy and Elaine Simmons have watched hundreds of basketball games involving their husbands, while somehow forging successful professional careers themselves and keeping a steady hand on their children -- and staying in touch with the young people their husbands coach.
Smith, who is the registrar at the Louisiana School for Math, Science and the Arts, is the wife of retired Northwestern State Lady Demon basketball coach James Smith.
McConathy, a longtime teacher who recently changed jobs, moving from a treasured position on the faculty at St. Mary's School to a new post as the NSU campus liason for Bossier Parish Community College, is married to NSU men’s basketball coach Mike McConathy. (She is the pretty blonde shown in the picture above, to the left of her good friend, Dee Dee Perot.)
Simmons, wife of men’s assistant coach Dave Simmons, recently completed her education degree at Northwestern and has joined the teaching profession officially after raising the couple's children, now all teenagers.
Each wife said her relationships with the players were the most rewarding aspect of being a coach’s wife.
“Mrs. McConathy is like your mama looking over your shoulder saying ?You better do good,’” said Clifton Lee, a junior forward from Boyce who starts for the Demons.
Enthusiastic encouragement, and at times a firm hand, is a staple of any coach's wife's game plan with her husband's players. Susan Smith, by nature a peaceful and gentle person, certainly had a much-loved calming effect on Coach Smith, much to the Lady Demons' delight.
Diamond Cosby, a senior guard for the Lady Demons who played for Smith until his retirement on Sept. 1, said Mrs. Smith had the ability to change her husband's demeanor simply by being near, especially after frustrating losses or unproductive practices.
“He was always the big bad wolf except when she was around," laughed Cosby. "She was always relaxed and calmed him down.”
Jennifer Graf, who played for Coach Smith before joining his staff as an assistant coach and succeeding him as head coach last fall, said that it was nice to have Mrs. Smith around because she provided her husband with a female perspective to the game.
Susan Smith said her favorite part was traveling with the team because she got to see places she would not have ordinarily been able to visit. Her least favorite part was getting home late after games and getting up early the next morning to go to work.
She said the key to being a coach’s wife was to “be a good fan, and support my husband no matter the outcome.” She and her husband were high school sweethearts and after a stint in private business, he went into coaching while she pursued a career in academic administration, first at Louisiana Tech in Ruston and for the past two decades at the Louisiana School.
The McConathys and the Simmons also met and became couples before the men began coaching.
" I didn’t marry a coach, so we were on the job learning,” said Connie McConathy, a Ruston native who met Mike when they were sophomores at Louisiana Tech in the mid-1970s.
Her husband began coaching in 1979, in charge of the girls’ basketball team at Airline High School in Bossier City. Two years later, he began coaching at Bossier Parish Community College, where he relied upon Connie's involvement to successfully launch the basketball program. She often found herself as scorekeeper, concessions sales director or cast in many other roles with the BPCC program.
Their approach to developing the team focused on more than the game -- the McConathys wanted to give "the boys" a solid direction in life as well. That's a philosophy that has been a cornerstone of their success at BPCC and now, for the past six years, at Northwestern.
“I want them to be successful beyond basketball; life skills have to be learned too,” Connie said.
Their players have reciprocated through the years in many ways, she said, like helping her wallpaper, babysitting their two sons a decade ago, and sending Mother's Day and Father’s Day cards to the couple. The McConathys feel their players have enriched their lives by being loving and respectful towards them and their sons, Michael and Logan.
Connie says that most of what she does -- like making motivational signs for the players that she will personally put up in the locker room while the team is out practicing, she does to complement her husband's underspoken demeanor. “My husband is quiet and calm,” she says. "I've got to express myself a little more plainly. That's just me."
Such a strong emotional investment in the team is very rewarding, she said.
“People who invest in the team receive huge dividends. We cannot understand why everyone wouldn't want to do it,” she said.
Elaine Simmons' take on being a coach’s wife is “It’s been the story of my life.” She feels the No. 1 job is to be supportive of the team and be her husband’s cheerleader and confidant.
Having married while Dave was still a player at Louisiana Tech, and watched him as he immediately transitioned into a graduate assistant coach for the Bulldogs after his playing days ended, she has seen both sides of the game.
She learned to be flexible in her personal life.
“I never really made plans for the weekends," she said. "I don’t even exist during the season.”
She said that having her husband gone a lot is something she learned to deal with quickly, because they have been together since he was a promising basketball player in the seventh grade in their hometown of DeRidder. As demonstrated by them renewing their wedding vows last May, she's quite content in her decision.
“I wouldn’t know any other life. I learned to do a lot without him,” she said.
She also treasures the relationships with the players. She takes pride in watching them grow up and go on to their careers.
Unlike the Smith and McConathys, the Simmons family has had several job changes within the coaching profession. They've lived in Ruston, Lake Charles, Jacksonville, Fla., and Natchitoches, among other stops, having arrived here with the McConathys in the spring of 1999.
Using the upbeat mindset a coach's wife quickly learns to apply in virtually every situation, Elaine said when her husband's career carried her and their three sons to a new city, the turmoil of leaving was outweighed by the benefits of life lessons for the boys.
"Even though we moved seven times," she said, "the experience was a good thing because our sons got to travel."
